Drinking and Dreaming

by Merri Palmer & the Antidotes

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Morbidly adorable, this folk/anti-folk commentary on bridges, canyons and the lengths people go to create them is rife with infectious melodies, lush instrumentation, and fresh, quirky lyrics.

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released February 27, 2011

Written by Merri Palmer
Produced by D.B. Rouse
Mastered by Rick Younglove Wood
Album Artwork by Caitlin Winn

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Merri Palmer & the Antidotes Austin, Texas

Merri Palmer is an Austin-based singer, songwriter and musician. Drummer Andy Manns, vocalist/bassist Holly Harper, and bassist/songwriter Kevin Martin create Merri Palmer & the Antidotes, a retro rock'n'roll band with quirky content primarily focused on robots, neuroscience, and storytelling. ... more

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Track Name: Hopeless Romantic
I wish I'd met you when I was a hopeless romantic.
I wish I'd met you when the world didn't seem so frantic
'Cause way back then, I'd fall for you
Like I always used to do.
Oh, I wish I'd met you when I was a hopeless romantic.

We would've made really great high school boyfriends and girlfriends.
We would hang out in the library, make out on the weekends,
But now I keep my distance from
Anything that reeks of love.
Oh, we would've made really great high school boyfriends and girlfriends.

I wish you wouldn't get attached because I'm going to hurt you.
I wish you wouldn't get your heart smashed, but I know I'm going to.
The more you care, the more you hurt:
That's the cherry on top of this dessert.
Oh, I wish you wouldn't get attached because I'm going to hurt you.

Oh, don't you think it's sad?
Everything I've loved so far's gone bad...
So I wish I'd met you when I was a hopeless romantic.
Oh, I wish I'd met you when I was a hopeless romantic.
Track Name: Drinking and Dreaming
Well,
I'm all head and you're all heart,
So let's try again in the morning.
I will end everything that you start,
So you can't say that I didn't give fair warning,
So let's try again in the morning.

When I'm down, that means that you'll be up
So I guess I'll try and counter you always,
And when I'm passed out, you scoop me up
And from your arms, I see the world sideways.
I guess I'll try and counter you always.

'Cause I don't change.
I just learn.
And isn't it strange?
This time I didn't expect to get burned.
I guess I don't expect to get burned.

But oh! The girl on the couch is me,
Wide awake at night:
Oh, what am I doing?
I guess...

I'm drinking and dreaming,
And I'm dreaming of driving,
So I think I'm gonna be ok.
I'm smoking and scheming,
And I'm thinking of leaving.
I don't see that there is any other way,
But there's nothing that I want to say
Until I know,
I won't say so.

We made it fit; my edges are all bent.
I turned off all my parts that didn't fit with you,
But the curtain's down. Now the lights are on.
I can see all the parts of myself I should rescue.
Oh, all the parts of me that don't belong to you.

Besides:
Plans are something you make
Until something more important comes along,
And I'm sorry to break them with you,
But right now I really need to be strong.
It's not that I feel we were wrong.
It's just that something more important came along.

Oh, the girl on the couch is me,
Wide awake at night:
Oh, what am I doing?
Well...

I'm drinking and dreaming,
And I'm dreaming of driving,
So I think I'm gonna be ok.
I'm smoking and scheming,
And I'm thinking of leaving.
I don't see that there is any other way,
But there's nothing that I want to say
Until I go.
I won't say so.
I won't say so.
I won't say so
Until I go.
Track Name: The Usual Scars
The rivers are thin, white lines
Raised from the skin of the countryside.
They all meet at the dock.
The sailors are shipping off
Towards the sky.
She waves goodbye.

She's got the usual scars,
Plus a few I've never seen before.

And if you get lonely, dear,
Know she's as beautiful far or near.
She is breathing a sigh
Of relief because we all die.
The greenery grows
On the deaths of friends and foes.

She's got the usual scars,
Plus a few I've never seen before.
And she is cut up like lace.
Why? We'll never know for sure.

She kissed all of my scars
And she said that
"You have cut up your arms,
But you cannot force
Damage to secede.
Sometimes, we all go out to sea."

I've got all the usual scars,
Plus a few she's never seen before.
Track Name: Ferris Wheels
I see life as a ferris wheel:
You don't get anywhere for real,
But it keeps us in motion
and up and down, we go all around.
We don't recognize the ground
As it's coming or it's going.

But I feel like the gerbil in the spinning wheel:
I don't get anywhere for real,
But I feel just as tired
And I'm sick of feeling like a corporate drone
And I feel so alone,
'Cause my mind is an island.

I hope you pray for my soul,
'Cause I'm unrelenting and I'm not repenting.
So I hope it swallows you whole
'Cause you're just so happy with the stupid and the sappy,
And I'm left to stand here alone.

But I watch the tough girls with the roller skates
In a circular race,
Throwing punches in a pile
And I think they're on to something I've searched for:
Although life can be a bore,
You can do it with style.

I hope you pray for my soul,
'Cause I'm unrelenting and I'm not repenting.
So I hope it swallows you whole
'Cause you're just so happy with the stupid and the sappy,
And I'm left to stand here alone.

I have to wonder if there's more to life than living circularly,

and

I have to wonder if we are Point A, then who and what is Point B?

So I say life's like a ferris wheel:
You don't get anywhere for real,
But it's sure worth your while.
And I guess I'll stay on until the ride stops
Or I am asked to get off,
And then I'll do it with style.
Track Name: The Daily Grind
You were twelve years sober,
Just barely holding over.
You were hanging on to the wagon by a thread,
But your boring house, dog,
Children, job and spouse were
Driving you to pieces, driving you out of your head.

Then you felt so guilty
For being so unhappy
With the fortunate life that you lead

But it's the daily grind:
It makes you lose your mind.
It's the daily grind:
It makes you lose your mind.
Yeah, it makes you lose your mind.
Yeah, it makes you lose your mind.
It makes you lose your mind.

Oh well,

The doctors and the pills
And all those medical bills
That stacked up on your side of the bed when you were gone.
But I'm not bitter; I know rehab is for quitters,
And Dad, if you're a quitter, well then, I guess, right on.

Though I don't mean to be unkind,
You know you have to keep in mind
The kind of mess you left behind.

It was worth it all, perhaps,
If you would only not relapse,
But we kept on coming back to
Collapse after collapse.
Oh, collapse after collapse.
And oh, collapse after relapse
After collapse.

And now:

You're a few years sober,
But for me it's just not over.
For me, it's just begun; I've just started sorting out these things,
Because in my veins
Runs the blood that caused your pain, and
It's that same pain; it jerks me around like I'm on strings.

Then I get so guilty
For being so unhappy
When things turned out so beautifully

But it's the daily grind:
It makes me lose my mind.
It's the daily grind:
It makes me lose my mind.
Yeah, it makes me lose my mind.
Oh, it makes me lose my mind.
It makes me lose my mind.
It makes me lose my mind.
Track Name: The Sorry for Yourself Song
So:
I sit and wonder as I'm going under,
Am I sorry for myself?
I've been reading too many books and too much television
For my health.

Everything's been going black.
I'm like you: I'm waiting for a comeback.

'Cause I was born middle-class (a pain in the ass).
Mom was busy rushing us from school to theater class,

So I'm thinking it might
Work out in the long run.

As you sit there pouting, we all stand here shouting,
"Don't feel sorry for yourself!
Life is beautiful and these thoughts, they are dutiful,
These visions for your health.

"We want you to give in because
Everyone's here and they're sick of waiting."

But oh! So it's true?
Your face was turing blue.
All of us were standing there, watching,
Wondering what to do,

So I'm thinking it might
Work out in the long run.
Yeah, we're hoping it might
Work out in the long run.

Our conjecture is: It might work out in the long run.
Yeah, we're hoping that it might work out in the long run.

Yeah, we're thinking it might
Work out in the long run.
Track Name: Underaged Smokers
We were underaged smokers
Looking for someone of age to buy.
We were undercover tokers.
All we did was drive around getting high.

All that time, I thought you knew where we were going.
All that time, I thought you had a plan in store.

We thought that we were really arty:
Patches and pipes, sipping on wine.
We thought that we were the life of the party
But our curfews fucked with our good time.

All that time, I thought you knew where we were going.
All that time, I thought you had a plan in store.
A great escape toward the exit sign that was glowing:
I left you reeling inside the revolving door.

Older, wiser, no longer friends
Called you up to make amends
"I'm not proud, but I try."
And Pixar films still make you cry.

It's hard to merge with the passing cars
Going 40 MPH in the suicide lane.
I hope wherever you are
You've slowed down enough to go sane.
You've grown up enough to go sane.
Track Name: Early in the Morning
Early in the morning, I am half in love with you.
I am barely breathing 'cause I want it to be true.
Early in the morning, I lie awake in bed
Watching you dreaming all those dreams inside your head,
And I wish that I was there instead.

Why can't I understand why you are not supposed to be my man?
Why won't I understand that you are not supposed to be my man
This early in the morning?

We have lived entangled for two years or so.
Do you think I can handle myself, alone?
It's not that I don't love you or that you've disappointed me.
It's just that I can't help but move on restlessly,
No matter how wonderful you might be.

Why can't you understand why you are not supposed to be my man?
Why won't you understand that you are not supposed to be my man
This early in the morning?

Oh, I am half in love with you.
You came to my housewarming. It used to half belong to you.
Your new place is efficient with all those boxes on the floor,
But this is all so different from the life we shared before and
The future, of which we were sure.

And I don't understand
Why you are not supposed to be my man,
But it was all my hand
And now you are no longer my man,
And it's early in the morning.
Track Name: Favors and Loans
I'm calling in favors.
I'm taking out loans,
But my spirit wavers
When I'm all alone.

I'm looking for reasons
Not to do myself in.
You are one of them,
And you've always been.

















9:11 SECRET SONG

This is the last song I'll be writing for you.
You have been demoted to
A passing acquaintance, nothing more.
Then you walk through the door:
Did I once know you? I'm not sure.

This is the last time I'll be calling you drunk.
You understand that I am in a funk.
I'm so alone and I am so trashed
And all this must be rehashed,
Like a check I never cashed.

This is the last time I'll be sleeping with you.
I love you. Well, I love to use you too.
It's nothing that I am sorry for.
Though I know this choice is poor,
Here I am, fucking on the floor.

Careful, baby.
You know I'm crazy.
You might get fooled,
Get pulled in.

Hard times in Hollywood.
It beat the goodness out of being good.
Yeah, hard times in Hollywood.
It beat the goodness out of being good
So the bottom line is,
The bottom line is:
I'm getting tired.
And the bottom line is,
The bottom line is:
It's been such a long time since this transpired.

This is the last time we'll be out on a date.
I guess all the packing can wait.
Let's just enjoy our second course,
And though it's something you can't force:
I'm leaving you.